Tefillin at Pride

I love helping people put on tefillin for the first time (or the first for many years, or the first while presenting in a way that is right for their gender, etc etc etc). As a lover of this mitzvah, it brings me so much joy to see a person realize it can be for them, too, that their body can be a vehicle to literally wear the Torah. And as many readers of this newsletter likely know, too many people are told that that cannot be the case. So it was a particular joy to participate in a tefillin table at DC’s Pride Festival this past Sunday; a dear friend of mine who is a rabbi decided that her shul’s booth ought to involve actual Jewish ritual, and invited me to join her in offering this mitzvah to people.

the amazing sign made by my friend’s congregant!

Teaching another person to put on tefillin is a skill, one that is discrete from knowing how to put tefillin on yourself. First of all, putting tefillin on someone else requires being able to do all the same twists and wraps but reversed in a kind of weird mirror-image – and that’s before we start on right-handed people helping lefties and vice versa. That alone can throw you. To be an experienced tefillin-layer trying to project competence for the newbie when suddenly you find yourself fumbling around like you’ve never done it before! And the stakes can feel very high on “seeming expert” when you’re someone who has imbibed the narrative that tefillin are not for you, no matter how many years you’ve been doing this mitzvah. (Speaking for, uh, friends.)

More below the paywall on the emotional and spiritual work of helping people learn to put on tefillin! Paid subscribers support my work (writing, thinking, teaching) and get full access to personal essays etc; free subscribers get Torah posts!!